Phenomena are preceded by the heart,
ruled by the heart,
made of the heart.
If you speak or act with a corrupted heart,
then suffering follows you —
as the wheel of the cart,
the track of the ox that pulls it.

Phenomena are preceded by the heart,
ruled by the heart,
made of the heart.
If you speak or act with a calm, bright heart,
happiness follows you,
like a shadow that never leaves.

-Dhp 1-2

Harvard has a free course on Buddhism 🙂 Enjoy



a constant wakefulness


birth and birth and birth and


I know I’m not going crazy because what I call my sleeping pills are really anti-psychotics

because I’m really not ready to stare deity in the face again.  but god, she’s lurking in the doorway, right around the corner, I can feel her waiting for me

(I can feel us waiting for each other, like who’s gonna make the first

avoid the sun avoid the sunburn

I’ll get my vitamin D somewhere else, thanks b

spray tans look like shit though.

(Gotta figure out how to go outside without getting

thoughts on seeing you in less than 12 hours

ritual cleansing this still-young

airport a temple
exit gated altar
snail’s pace teleportation

your voice over the microwaves
how the future blesses me

how the distance has made itself obsolete.

Everything here but your body
still-young house

ritual cleansing

The day after I met you I
washed your feet

feel this heart-worship carrying me
away, soft as the ocean

it would be so easy to drown.

I got sleeping pills to drag me into sanity

away from the chaos
away from the



I had this feeling like I’m giving more than I get.

Screw it.

I’ll give it all.  I’ll pour myself out till I overflow again.  You won’t ever feel a love like mine again in this lifetime, that someone would give you everything while you hold back behind a wall, afraid to show too much of yourself.

I’ve spent a decade plus tearing down every brick. No barriers to this garden, god you keep your soul so tightly held

(that’s who I sing to)

mute-throated, broken-winged.

How could you have anything to give?

So take take take.

A long time ago the man at the beginning of the world told me to never close the valve on my heart, keep it open all the way always, and I think I’m finally ready to try.

This existence isn’t transactional.

Nothing rational about love.


the girl can’t help it

candlelight suits you well
fits you as the sleeper fits the


bathe here with you
awash in


would try to post some kinda straight-forward love song but that’s not what I have in my just-added right now.   Don’t be a choosy beggar.

no better time than now


laughter as a funhouse mirror
the madness in me recognizes the madness in you.

fucked up world,
reflecting it and each other in
sound and syllable

praise to the God of the apocalypse,
the God of poverty

vocal chorded scorch-earth happy
I know you in the conflagration

(my first friend in the asylum)

take away my power until I kick you in the
till I leave hand shaped bruises we exclaim over tomorrow

and on the third day the sun created himself created the moon created herself

dancing in the pitch dark
wet paint colorless
illusions and feints

this is not soft intimacy

not when I can see your teeth



The sunrise comes after endless years of night.

I don’t know how many eternities I can wait to be with you again.  I want to slice out this parasite of want and need until I am my own again.  Not the moon reflecting the sun until she is seen. My heart betrays my head through fault of your eyes.  Mirrors too clear.

I see you.

Halfway wish I could cut this sight out too. Self-blinded to the kind of love that locks you out of paradise.

Always getting kicked out of the garden.

I offered you (am offering, will offer) the apple.

You’ve said yes every time.


you’re always gonna owe me for this

to give you what you thought you wanted
I had to suppress myself.

experience ambiguous/
elevator music of the soul

no spark, no fire
limbs corpsed

I love you enough for this.

when you tell someone they can have
anything [except]

they will head straight for the
tree in the center of the

face dripping,
hands shaking,
triumph staining their teeth like



jumping on the dating train again (okay I never really was ever on it lessbehonest) and it has been a RIDE.

Night shift poetry for your enjoyment:



exquisitely strange
the way the tide cycles our stars proximate
aeonic, perpetual

this intimacy is blessed,
sacred and agonizing.

I die daily for fate,
close enough if it’s
close enough to break me

sacrifice the future
on the bloodbright altar of the
here and now

hold you through all four horsemen

as the asteroid hits
when the ocean rises to bury us
while the long curve of radioactive fallout

shipwrecks our descendants wakeful