lalalallalalaLOVE Stephin Merrit… (but I guess he doesn’t believe me?)

So you quote love unquote me
Well, stranger things have come to be
But let’s agree to disagree
Cause I don’t believe you
I don’t believe you

You tell me I’m not not cute
Its truth or falsity is moot
Cause honesty’s not your strong suit
And I don’t believe you
I don’t believe you

You tell me of what once was
And all about Buck, Butch, and Buzz
How they were not like me because…
But I don’t believe you
I don’t believe you

I had a dream and you were in it
The blue of your eyes was infinite
You seemed to be
In love with me
Which isn’t very realistic

You may sing me “They Were You”
And I start crying halfway through
But nothing else you say is true
So I don’t believe you
I don’t believe you

You may set your charm on stun
And say I’m delightful and fun
But you say that to everyone
Well, I don’t believe you
I don’t believe you

So you’re brilliant gorgeous and
ampersand after ampersand
You think I just don’t understand
But I don’t believe you
I don’t believe you
I don’t believe you
I don’t believe you


Also! All my plane tickets are purchased for this summer! Fargo to Seoul, Korea to Thailand and then Thailand home.

“Darlings, sometimes love will come to you like a fire
to a forest. When it does, be braver than I was. Just leave.
Take only what you can carry. No tears, no second thoughts.
You have hands like tinder boxes, the smallest spark
will kill you.

Get in the car. Take water to the maps. Avoid gas stations.
Don’t look at the flames dancing in the rear view mirror.
Go to new cities, climb on the rooftops and slow dance with
your coldest memories. Wallpaper your new home with every
dusty, desperate love letter you swore you’d never send.

Find a stranger with sharp edges and uncharted hips.
Press your stories into their skin and forget you ever knew
his name. Just promise you won’t think of embers or smoke.
Even when there is ash in your hair. Even when there is soot
in your lungs.”

-Clementine Von Radics

smoke and mirrors

sickkk remix

I’m in a weird place right now.  My life has never held me in this brand of chokehold.   It’s interesting.

jacked this next bit from :

In romance movies, the final frame ends with the inevitable kiss, the reunion of two souls that have somehow been forced apart and the ending reinforces the idea that they were meant to be together. They were willed together by fate. That they were made for each other. We shouldn’t believe that that type of love exists, yet this yearning inside us all fools us. We root for them to be together. We watch them grow from strangers to lovers, and when the screen finally fades to black, we exit the theater and face our own reality.

Romance movies lie. We all know that it’s not how the story goes. Play the film in reverse, see the truth for yourself. We all know how it feels to have that happy ending. We all know the feeling of genuine happiness, the warmth, the moments in time where you wish you could keep it still for eternity. Play it in reverse and you’ll see the truth.

We go from lovers to strangers. We go from love to silence.

That’s reality for you.

there’s nothing worse than feeling like a ghost

see it’s like this
you want to be exceptional
but you’re afraid you can’t pull it off
you feed me novels of your past
refusing to entertain a stage of future hopes
you walk instead of dance
and you envy those with enough audacity
to fake rhythm
while yours sleeps in your bones
deep and deep and deep
you dream of apples
and leave the branches unshaken
you invite stagnancy in as an old friend
and are too polite to kick him out
when he’s overstayed his welcome
(I thought I was writing this for you, but it may have been for the me I used to be)
the weekend was just so amazing I don’t wanna go back to normal days…

single single single

Sometimes I wonder about the ones who only hang around because they think that if they’re nice enough for long enough I’ll bang them.  

Is it still friendship if I’m the only one who considers us friends?  If I can’t tell the difference between my real friends and well… you…does it make a difference?  Can I still get something out of a friendship that is half-nonexistent?

sometimes I think I should wear a sign.


(oddly enough I’ve often thought about signs that I should wear)

Happy V-day..  I got a rose, and this year it wasn’t from my parents.  Also, some insight.

been watching some tgs.  laughing stupidly.  livin’ the good life 🙂

I’m not in love, but I’m happy so I suppose that’s enough.

how to meet people

what’s your name?
what do you study?

do you have a list of socially acceptable
hobbies you repeat on days like these
when people want to know who you are?

are you comfortable with who you

have you ever spilled your guts
to someone who gave them away
for free? (because if so, that’s bullshit,
even kidneys go for thousands)

do you believe in God and if so does yours
hate  the ones who don’t?

do you listen to your friends when they
tell you who you shouldn’t enjoy the company of?

would you turn me down if I
asked you to dance?


One day my sorority told us to think up some questions to ask the new girls.  My index card was too small to fit everything.  Also, mine  were not the kinds of questions most of them had.  I am not in a sorority anymore.

Pour me Another

esn’t matter what you call it

All she wanted was a little bit of solid
Feels like love, it doesn’t matter what you call it
Heal those cuts or hide em underneath the polish
Break another promise and take me as a hostage (take me)
Hold your job down and let the zombies crowd around
Thankin’ mommy’s god that it’s a cop’s town
Keep it safe for me while I chase a fantasy
Swerving through the galaxy, searching for a family
Happily surrounded by planets and stars
She was stuck uptown, you was landing on Mars


once every 2 years or so I feel the need to get TRASHED as @#%*. And I don’t.

just know that I really feel like not being sober. Even if it’s just for the effect, as if I’m a character from a book or movie who is trying to drown something emotional.

I won’t.

dunno why this song depresses me

I want you all to know that I came very close to not being alone for Valentine’s Day.

So this is the 20th one in a row.


If you hear Indians talking, wait for a little while then turn around and say “Kya?”.  It means “what”.  Bam. helpfulness.  We’re talking Indians from India, not Native Americans, you uncultured fool.

Kaisi Paheli he ye zindagani. – what a riddle is this life.

I can’t front like I’m not excited to the point of dizziness

I was purchasing plane tickets for Korea, and when I got to the screen where you get to pick which seats you want, my hand froze.  I will be on a plane to Seoul for eighteen hours.  The seat I pick could change the course of my life.  I found myself wondering what sort of person would sit over the wing of the plane, which sort of people usually take aisle seats and whether I should just go with the middle seat so I can meet two people instead of just one.   Then I started using numerology, contemplating picking 27E since my middle name begins with E and I was born on the 27th.

I can’t remember which seat I picked.

I suppose it doesn’t matter.

This summer is going to be something.  you know, I wonder how I managed this post without ONE SINGLE EXCLAMATION POINT. oh wait, there’s the allcaps. dangit.  

Spoiler Alert: unrelated poetry


can’t help but notice how
much brighter your eyes are
when you’re sober

I want to take multiple photographs of the
way your voice doesn’t
shake, the sunflowered way you turn toward the future

watching you stand upright without
assistance is
a wine into water miracle and your

spine can be seen from