head in the clouds, but my gravity’s centered

well I turned 21 yesterday.  Sang some terrible karaoke (because I think that is the only thing that goes on downtown on a monday night).  Didn’t really drink, at least, I’m not hungover so I assume I wasn’t very drunk (isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?)
the bottom line is, Fargo’s bars give you free popcorn.   WHY have I never heard about this?  I could have just bought a fake id and been LIVING ON FREE POPCORN for the past 3 years!  I guess they figure you will buy enough alcohol to offset the cost.  nope.  I guarantee to you, if I go downtown again, I am going with no money.  And I am going to feast on popcorn and peanuts. 

Some guy at Rooter’s was like “I was going to buy her a drink but she doesn’t look like she needs it.” and I just turn to him with “dude, this is what I look like sober.  You wanna see me drunk you’ll have to spike the water.”

The best was singing along when someone did Hey Jude on Karaoke.  And Champagne Supernova.  annnnnnnnnd again at the end of the night when I made everyone listen to Sweater Weather, and Yannick digs it as much as I do so I didn’t even feel bad for the way I force people to hear it all the time. 

The people I love, the people I trust, almost all of them were there last night.  The best ones of the best ones.  I can’t believe how lucky I am to have friends like this. 

Last year I didn’t even celebrate my birthday.  Things have changed so much, so fast since then..

I am right where I need to be.  The here and now is beautiful and the future looks even better.  Thank you.

52 card pickup

I’ve made a lot of people sad in the last two years.  Often while making myself sad in the process.  Although, when you think about it, you can’t really blame that kind of thing on anyone.  There just isn’t enough emotional strength for us to each have enough.

Sometimes restaurants are really
Rorschach tests
and your
last statement
hit me like an ax to the
I was not in love
I was only


there’s this thing where I get really into a guy and I think that if it ends I’ll curl up in a ball and die.

and then it ends.

and I don’t die.

two weeks later, I end up chasing another car.  different color.  same level of oh-em-gee preteen butterflies.

I am so lame.   see I can sit here and observe all this happening,  and I still think this is the exception.  EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I’m not a freakin’ teenager.  I am an adult.  so they tell me.