Letting go of Control

This blog post: In Defense of Letting Kids Talk Back is applicable to so many areas of my life and I ain’t even child-rearing yet.

It’s hard to not exert your will over others, if not through outright ordering, then through coercion and manipulation. Sometimes I just really really want one of my friends to go to some event or class with me, something they’re not that into but I just know would be so fun for them.

I need to work on letting other people say no and letting that be enough.

Something from the comments:  “Not allowing people to say no in everyday life is basically erasing them as people.” – Speedwell.

Feel that so hard.    My parents didn’t discuss.  Their word was law.  I was a bratty kid. I always complained, argued, refused.  That wasn’t… um… that wasn’t encouraged.

And look at me now! Refusing alcohol and drugs on the regular! (Well usually just alcohol).  There was this guy I stayed with (my first couchsurfing experience actually) and he kept insisting that he had bought wine specifically for my visit so I had to drink it.  I explained why I don’t drink, I said thanks, but it will just be wasted on me since I won’t enjoy it, but he would not respect that.  In the end I took a glass, waited until he left the room for a minute, then dumped it down the drain.

People like this are one giant red flag.  Which is why I need to learn to not accept this behavior from others including and especially myself. Be the friend you want to see in the world, and all that.

I keep learning more about how awesome and important consent is.  Love it.

Found this song.. Somehow reminds me of the Postal Service.

Advertisements