I’m so into this dude.  I don’t know what to do with this level of vulnerability.  I don’t even recognize my brain right now.  ayeeee! bring it on, life!  I am happy to throw some dice with you!

The song is Roll Right Over by Eye Alaska in case this gets deleted like the first time I posted it.


“If owning a gun and knowing how to use it worked, the military would be the safest place for a woman. It’s not.

If women covering up their bodies worked, Afghanistan would have a lower rate of sexual assault than Polynesia. It doesn’t.

If not drinking alcohol worked, children would not be raped. They are.

If your advice to a woman to avoid rape is to be the most modestly dressed, soberest and first to go home, you may as well add “so the rapist will choose someone else”.

If your response to hearing a woman has been raped is “she didn’t have to go to that bar/nightclub/party” you are saying that you want bars, nightclubs and parties to have no women in them. Unless you want the women to show up, but wear kaftans and drink orange juice. Good luck selling either of those options to your friends.

Or you could just be honest and say that you don’t want less rape, you want (even) less prosecution of rapists.

When people scoff at the message that we need to teach people not to rape they make the assumption that the lesson goes: “Rape is bad. Don’t do it.” That is not what the lesson looks like. The lesson, once it is adopted, will be that every single person out there, regardless of any defining personal characteristics, is a human being of value, and with a right to make their own decisions about what bodily contact to have with others. There is nothing a person can do that makes them less deserving of that right. Violating any person’s right to control the when, what and who with of their sexual interactions is wrong. Do it and you will be punished, and you will deserve it.”

Pieces / Scraps

here’s to the dirty-winged
out on corners
praying for cigarettes 
every muffled
“are you home yet?”
whispered to myself
begs a new set of limbs
to be my first and final confessional booth
Sunsets always look so
violent, bleeding into
dark like a
crucifixion, like the cuts you sometimes still
I caught the fear making you thinner,
exposing your deepest bones, but I
was discovering how to fall in mad love with the
sky, and that’s where we
parted ways
I arrive, and you’re standing there
like an ostrich in a crowd of imaginary friends
brutally upright, hesitant, filled to the brim with
small talk
(I never like anything fully, so here are the good bits, chopped out for you, plus a few things on their own that I couldn’t quite find the thread to complete)   
random thought:  The thing about men is that I really don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t want to be excessive.  So I rarely get in touch first, and I know this makes me seem detached. I don’t know what to do about it though, or whether I should change it.  Ah better not.  An obsessive Amy is not a pretty sight.  You’ll know if I’m into you, I can give you that much, while I may not be excessive I am definitely obvious.  and then you will be left with an unspoken “let me know” because once I make myself clear, I make myself gone, and it’s up to you whether to cut or uh. um… glue. cut or glue.  
I am in Mott and essentially this post is only because I haven’t posted in a while.  So it was not born out of some need to throw myself into a wild fit of electronical expression.  anyways all the poetry was written at some point in December.  Goodnight.
also.  I like someone.  and I think I’m at the point where I can admit that.  Goodnight again.

I stay wrecked and jealous for this one simple reason

you know those people who smile like the world is all theirs?  These are the ones I can’t help but love.

I like happy people. and I’ve only really met two in the last three years that I’d classify this way.  These people I just watch and watch and watch, because everything they do intrigues me.  Confidence without arrogance is a rare and beautiful thing.
My heart has ADD.

random A.B. quote

It seemed obvious to Bebe that she needed to remedy the situation, curb her spending. So she put away the bill and logged on to to look for a book on the subject. She did a search and found ShoppingStoppers: The Breakthrough Best-seller that Can Help You Curb Your Compulsive Shopping. She clicked on it. The book jacket appeared on her screen. Beneath the book jacket, the text said, ‘Customers who bought this book also bought…’ and then listed seven other titles. So Bebe purchased them all, along with a book about investing in Chinese artifacts. She logged off feeling tremendous relief.” 

-Augusten Burroughs – Sellevision

In other news I’ve been listening to Taking Back to Sunday all day, (their 2002 album, Tell All Your Friends)  and it just takes me back to my junior high days like nothin’ else. the first band I ever really loved.

Fargo life

One thing:  “You have a great personality” is not a valid pickup line if you don’t actually know me.     For real,  the men of Fargo need to get some better lines.   During these two minute interactions, you see a combination of what you want to see and what I want you to see.

Certain brands of confidence freak me out.   It’s the predatory arrogance I can’t handle.  It’s all because of a little book called Rose Madder by Stephen King. After reading this book I became very frightened of men who are too sure of themselves.  (did you know you can download this book as a pdf?? I didn’t either:

And okay, I’ll be honest.  I REALLY like being fed lines. I love being told that my smile is “radiant”  and “lights up a room”.  but come on.  I know you’ve given this crap to a million other girls and I’m not going to fall for you that easily…  I will however sit there with a big grin on my face consuming your flattery like a huge slice of apple pie. 

Tonight I am dancing to a Bollywood song in front of a huge crowd of people. annnnnd I’m still nervous as anything so pardon me while I go practice.