went to bed at 8 PM woke up at 2 AM, now can’t sleep

part of me believes we won’t make it past February.  I’ve never made it to Valentine’s day with anyone, much less the altar.  I don’t trust my judgement.  My brain relies on sleep-deprived emotions rather than rationality.

I am afraid of boredom.  I am afraid of a lack of communication.

I think I like doomed relationships better.  Like a prison sentence that you know will end next weekend so you can get comfortable with the free food and cable.

Beginnings are so pretty.

I’m bad as half of a dual substance.

keep me tethered
twin moons, orbiting

I no longer get drunk off stars only
high on the laws
of gravity

anxiety is an unpleasant and
like jealousy

the dark underbelly of love
bites into my flesh

jeweled handcuffs.