accomplishments and bemoanments

This weekend I:

  • worked 8 hours
  • wrote 2 papers
  • wrote 3 poems
  • went to church (that’s where I wrote the poems so two birds/one stone I guess)
  • did my laundry
  • PUT AWAY MY LAUNDRY
  • cooked a huge pot of soup
  • cleaned my room, took out garbage
  • blew off a few people who wanted to hang out with me
  • skyped with my boyfriend
  • browsed the internet again and again and again.
I look so much more productive on paper.  I feel like all I did was stare at my computer.    I need to not be addicted to the interwebs.  I need to hang out with people instead of canceling on them, Friday night I did nothing at all except skype with him. I’m becoming a boring person or sad maybe.  It’s a small sad though.  It pales in comparison to my dark times of the past, so I don’t really count it.

Nostalgia: I miss the beach.

spine

Romance

know your enemies

dedicate songs to them,
dance the last number with
jealousy, a slow waltz,
low murmured headrush

lean against
the doorframe,
touch selfishness briefly on the mouth

take anxiety home and
leave quietly at dawn before he
traces your spine and pulls you

closer


as always I find myself finally able to write when I attend church.  very odd.  I like this one though 🙂

mer

Writer’s Block is the most satisfying beast to kill in the whole world I think.  A lot less species would be endangered if hunters would have only picked up a pen instead of a gun.

Happy Valentine’s Day!  This is the first time I’ve made it this far with anyone and that makes me exceedingly joyous.

Writer’s Block

I am not broken
anymore

rainbows only bleed from
cracked glass, I am none of this

my creative beasts have chewed
their way out of me,
who will cook?

whose claws will mutilate printer paper
into soggy, squalling origami?

who will hold my head down, under the ink
watching the bubbles float up until I finally
thrash-up
gasping
?

my scars are almost gone
and
there is no ink in the larder

slowly

cleaning my house because the possible future grandmother of my babies is coming over Sunday… and…. I BOUGHT A VACUUM CLEANER! An expensive one!  I hope it works well or I’ll be sad.  This is something I’ve always wanted: a really nice vacuum cleaner.  I’m overly excited.

This is how I plan a eurotrip… by poorly drawing a map of Europe.

!!

wish me luck as my boyfriend’s mom is coming here from India.

I had no idea there would be a family audition so fast… ayeeeee.  I gotta remember my formal Hindi so I can be respectful.

ARGHHH FAMILY AUDITIONNNN.

 I’ll be honest I’m only in college because I should be, i.e. for my parents, and for the rest of the family.  And because I have a large scholarship.

The experiences I’ve had I wouldn’t trade for four years of traveling.  University has been a blast.  But I am so glad to finally be done and FREE.  Well in May.

I think once I get back from Europe I’ll take a weekend off every month to go somewhere in the U.S. and do a dancing workshop, probably salsa.  I need to meet people who like to dance and travel, then I won’t have to go solo so much.

I just want to dance, always.  I think that’s all I’m going to do when I graduate (along with keeping the job at the old folks home).  I wish I could do it for a living.