Island of Misfit Toys

Just watched “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”  with my brother.  The whole time he just kept saying, “I thought this movie was about fistfighting? When are they gonna fistfight??”  And then he got bored and skipped the last half hour.

what I’ve been trying to say is I hate teenage romantic comedies.  They give me bitter nostalgia for something I’ve never had.

I really don’t like movies in general. I only watch them if I’m with a man, because my brain is unoriginal and I can’t think of other things to do.

also! poetry.  I was sitting in church feeling uncomfortable because all the women my age are so ridiculously polished.  They are very un-messy.  You get the feeling they have never laughed uncontrollably to the point of falling, or stuck their entire upper body out of a car doing 80 and screamed at the stars.  I guess exteriors don’t tell you that much, and I can act charm-schooled as well. I did used to be in a sorority after all.  anyways, I wrote this in church. 

the people I like are the ones
not well put together

wild-haired mannequins
in strange colors
with screws loose and
backward feet

the ones rocking enthusiasm when
calm and cool is the Cosmo-worshippers
first commandment

people who sit on staircases during
ragers, doing math problems by

people who see no difference between study sessions and

the ones who are so down with
looking like fools
the standard for commonplace
eats it’s own
smothered-in-steak-sauce cliches
for breakfast

you make me forget how good
I am at blending in

you turn “normal”  into
a breathalyzer test
I can’t wait to fail
These are fortune cookies I got.  If you know my history at all, then you should be able to see why they freaked me out so bad.  Also, what the heck King House, my best friend gets “What do you call a sheep with no legs?  A cloud”.  

entmologists are _________

dear samantha
i’m sorry
we have to get a divorce
i know that seems like an odd way to start a love letter but let me explain:
it’s not you
it sure as hell isn’t me
it’s just human beings don’t love as well as insects do
i love you.. far too much to let what we have be ruined by the failings of our species

i saw the way you looked at the waiter last night
i know you would never DO anything, you never do but..
i saw the way you looked at the waiter last night

did you know that when a female fly accepts the pheromones put off by a male fly, it re-writes her brain, destroys the receptors that receive pheromones, sensing the change, the male fly does the same. when two flies love each other they do it so hard, they will never love anything else ever again. if either one of them dies before procreation can happen both sets of genetic code are lost forever. now that… is dedication.

after Elizabeth and i broke up we spent three days dividing everything we had bought together
like if i knew what pots were mine like if i knew which drapes were mine somehow the pain would go away

this is not true

after two praying mantises mate, the nervous system of the male begins to shut down
while he still has control over his motor functions
he flops onto his back, exposing his soft underbelly up to his lover like a gift
she then proceeds to lovingly dice him into tiny cubes
spooning every morsel into her mouth
she wastes nothing
even the exoskeleton goes
she does this so that once their children are born she has something to regurgitate to feed them
now that.. is selflessness

i could never do that for you

so i have a new plan
i’m gonna leave you now
i’m gonna spend the rest of my life committing petty injustices
i hope you do the same
i will jay walk at every opportunity
i will steal things i could easily afford
i will be rude to strangers
i hope you do the same
i hope reincarnation is real
i hope our petty crimes are enough to cause us to be reborn as lesser creatures
i hope we are reborn as flies
so that we can love each other as hard as we were meant to.
— Jared Singer, An Entomologist’s Last Love Letter


another sun-soaked season fades away

The Fall

There was a man who found two leaves and came indoors holding them out saying to his parents that he was a tree.
To which they said then go into the yard and do not grow in the living-room as your roots may ruin the carpet.
He said I was fooling I am not a tree and he dropped his leaves.

But his parents said look it is fall.

-Russell Edson

I swear Russell Edson is one FABULOUSLY INSANE creature. love it.

Let us consider the farmer who makes his straw hat his
sweetheart; or the old woman who makes a floor lamp her son;
or the young woman who has set herself the task of scraping
her shadow off a wall….

Let us consider the old woman who wore smoked cows’
tongues for shoes and walked a meadow gathering cow chips
in her apron; or a mirror grown dark with age that was given
to a blind man who spent his nights looking into it, which
saddened his mother, that her son should be so lost in

Let us consider the man who fried roses for his dinner,
whose kitchen smelled like a burning rose garden; or the man
who disguised himself as a moth and ate his overcoat, and for
dessert served himself a chilled fedora….” 

-Let us Consider
Winter is coming.  (and I am quite clearly reduced to creating statements that no one can dispute)

I’m already trying to rid myself of expectations for the weekend.  
(it’s not working. my hopes are high, my fingers are crossed,
 please please please don’t disappoint me)

Good skincare techniques

An old woman once told me the secret to looking young at 95

Love Everybody


It’s so simple, really.  Sometimes I wonder why we even need all these religions.  I will start my own:  Throw love around like a contagion.

 As Slug said,   “I’ll make you smile from the simple fact I’m good at it, I’ll make you smile just so I can sit and look at it”

oh and my Muslim friend is trying to get me to convert to Islam… it is very unlikely that I will.  but I told him to get me a copy of the Qur’an in English, and I will certainly discuss it with him.  These are my conceptions of it (of course I have never read it, so who knows how accurate they are):

1.  It says women are inferior to men
2.  talks a lot about killing “infidels”
3.  They can’t eat pork
4.  Jesus was a prophet, not God

I will let you know what I learn.  Should be interesting.

Bridge to anywhere/nowhere

at this point
you probably
know this one
is about you

because really
what else would
i have on my

surely not changing
topics or fresh
headlines that
soon rot, like

strobe light eyes
brilliant in their
subtlety pull
me closer to
the spaces i cant
wait to occupy

and you’re so
clever you could
trick me into
revealing the things
i’d rather keep kept
away, for now

intrepid minds
can build a bridge
to anywhere


uh.  yeah 🙂

It’s crazy how you can find a kindred spirit in someone from such a COMPLETELY different culture. 

I don’t really know what I’m saying.  Just…. the world, you know?  These people look so different on the surface, and when you remove the veil, our souls are the same exact color.

Sometimes you just..
sometimes you just find someone.   English needs a word for that.