permanently blue

HERE’s some stuff.



Oh I wrote this on an airplane and myGAH does it EVER look EMO(oooooo).  Seriously I have not progressed at all since high school, it’s official.

Whaddayagonnado.  The heart pours out, regardless.  I always have someone in mind when I write in 2nd person.



We’re just two kids whose parents are disappointed in us.

It’s the expectations that’ll kill ya, and I’m just trying to drag you back from the edge that doesn’t exist for me, except as an extension of yourself as an extension of my heart…


I won’t be happy until you are.


Is that a healthy dependency.. I don’t know, depends on your will to go forward.  Depends on whether you can redefine what your worth means..   Is it too much for me to force that on you, I don’t know. Yes. Maybe.  Hard for me to see you sitting in the abyss as such…

I am not my own anymore, haven’t been for the last three years.  Please stay until the end.  We have a long way to go.


Grounding technique

If you think I’m on drugs when you see me dance, well you’re halfway right.  There’s been something burning through my veins with a vengeance and the bass kicks in as the catalyst for the most unstable kind of chemical reaction.

Body, acidic,  I’mma devastate the dance floor, nuclear warhead style, get these people blinking from the wreckage like where did that come from…


(I wrote that, but I don’t really like it.  Oh well, I’ll leave it here and edit it to be better later).


Word Fog
Words, even if they come from the soul, hide the soul,
as fog rising off the sea covers the sea,
the coast, the fish, the pearls.
It is noble work to build coherent philosophical discourses,
but they do block out the sun of truth.
See God’s qualities as an ocean.
This world is foam on the purity of that.
Brush it away and look through the alphabet to essence,
as you do the hair covering your beloved’s eyes.
Here is the mystery:
This intricate, astonishing world is proof
of God’s presence even as it covers the beauty.
One flake from the wall of a gold mine
does not give much idea what it is like
when the sun shines down inside
and turns the air and the workers golden.

No one wishes for

not TOO much happiness.


I am terrified

Dizzy from want
heads I win tails we
(what more could be
I have given so much
4 minutes left until the future-
Utopia or

can’t decide to run
towards a cliff that could be an
Oh such sweet mirages
in my head
(three minutes)
Oh Doctor let it be good news.
praying for the benign
praying for enough heat to keep warm
without being set on


(2 minutes)
(1 minute)


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skeleton leaves
diseased kaleidoscope of


prior to the
bitemarks of

(f major, in the key of)

is still known.