any way you know it

“I don’t wanna know, leave me in the dark
If I can’t hold it then I can’t tear it apart
And it seems if, everything I touch comes to pieces
I toast to another head rush for when hell freezes
Increase the dosage, take me there
Make me numb, I don’t wanna care
Turn your back, move towards the sunset
Forget about the past, the drama, the unrest
I resent what inspires me
The struggle between apathy and irony
Tryin’ to see, and it’s driving me to that place
Where every face gets erased
You don’t exist, it’s just me and this fist
That I use to beat and abuse my grin
If I was a little bit more intelligent
I would protect my skin from this wind”

I know slug is from Minnesota, not North Dakota… but it probably gets pretty cold there too.  When I walk to school tomorrow it will be -13 degrees, -29 with windchill.


This weekend I almost died twice.  Spun out on black ice twice, crashed down into a ditch the second time….. I have no rear-view mirror and I am really scared to find out what it will cost me to to replace it.   A beautiful man came and helped us out of the ditch.  I may go all Cinderella and scour Fargo looking for him.  Well. maybe not.

The end of something I wrote:

you are standing there
eyes broadcasting enough
optimism to blind me
I cannot bear your eager
I cannot bear your shy
wide eyed
here is your fortune:
you will fall so hard that
you will not be able to get up
you will give everything
and be left with
greedily snatched at with
grasping hands
chewed up like cotton candy
thrown away like
broken mouse

It’s funny how the night moves

I believe this is what one would call a desolate wasteland.  Seriously I feel like I am on Mars.  Where did all the trees go?  Or did Mott just never have any?  Also why are all the roads covered with gravel?  I swear it is possible to go days without seeing another human being here.  I’ve been reading through some of my old notebooks with a mixture of amusement and something else that is a bad emotion.  ( I was going to google “bad emotions” to figure out what it’s called but eh…)

And I learned about the blues from this kitten I knew, her hair was raven and her heart was like a tomb.
-Gaslight Anthem