cactus bicycle seat.

So whenever I’m on a phone call with my boyfriend and the conversation is kinda stunted we do questions from this article: The 36 Questions That Lead to Love. I definitely recommend this list to people in long distance relationships… one question usually opens up the whole conversation, we generally don’t get through more than one per day.

Anyways. Today’s question was “If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?”

He didn’t have much to say about that.  I have mostly one thing…  I wish there would have been talks about consent.

This blog:  http://samanthapfield.com  sums it up beautifully.

“Sex should not be a “duty.” It shouldn’t be an act we feel obligated to perform for other people. It should never be manipulated or coerced. It’s hard for each woman, individually, to operate inside this system where we’re beaten down into thinking things like I have to have sex with him or he’ll leave me.

But we shouldn’t accept this status quo. As the magnificent and wonderful Nicki Minaj put it: “I demand that I climax. I think women should demand that.” That’s the attitude that should be accepted and normal. Consent is only the absolute minimum baseline, not the goal. It should be so commonplace for women to be comfortable, and happy, and trusting, and respected during sex that anything else would be as incomprehensible to us as building a bicycle seat out of a cactus.”

This is the first I’ve heard of something called “enthusiastic consent”  which means not bare minimum okay-whatever-yeah-do-it consent (or “grudging consent”).

I love Feminism. For now for always.
Don’t have any new music for you today, sorry.

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vday

Sometimes.

Just don’t know if I can do it.

I want to sleep, to crawl in bed and not come out until he comes back to me, back here with me where he belongs.

Something cruel did this.

I need.

Alone alone alone.  Alone in bed, alone in my house, I cook my meals alone, I eat alone, I sleep alone.

7,000 miles.

shit. 😦

Home

Something important about travel:

If you are staying with someone for a long time (i.e. more than 5 days)  don’t expect them to have your fun for you.
YOU have to research things that will be fun, and make sure you have a plan in place to execute them.
Sometimes your host will take it upon themselves to entertain you day in day out, but I have found that this is rarely the case.
Find a class for something you are interested in.  When I got bored and cooped up in Delhi, I researched language schools, and found a well-rated school to study Hindi at (Zabaan in Kailash Colony if you wanted to know).  If that wouldn’t have occupied my time I would have found dance classes, cooking classes, literally ANYTHING that would have kept me busy and enabled me to meet people.  Group classes are the best.
I did salsa classes all over Europe, since that’s something that I’m really into, and now I’m planning to go somewhere in South/Central America to learn Spanish this spring.  (Tryin’ for Cuba, but my parents aren’t so happy with that considering it’s technically illegal for me to go there.)
Okay anyways:

I’m back in Fargo.  Woke up this morning feeling like complete crap.  Long distance relationships are so hard (at least this one is).  Won’t be able to see him again for a year at least.  Ayya.  Anyways I got rid of a huge sack of clothes, and three small bags of books… hope to get rid of more stuff, lets see.

Here’s a song for you:  Kickstarts by Example.