52 card pickup

I’ve made a lot of people sad in the last two years.  Often while making myself sad in the process.  Although, when you think about it, you can’t really blame that kind of thing on anyone.  There just isn’t enough emotional strength for us to each have enough.

Sometimes restaurants are really
Rorschach tests
and your
last statement
hit me like an ax to the
throat
I was not in love
I was only
sleeping
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GURRRLLL HE BE SO FINE!

there’s this thing where I get really into a guy and I think that if it ends I’ll curl up in a ball and die.

and then it ends.

and I don’t die.

two weeks later, I end up chasing another car.  different color.  same level of oh-em-gee preteen butterflies.

I am so lame.   see I can sit here and observe all this happening,  and I still think this is the exception.  EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I’m not a freakin’ teenager.  I am an adult.  so they tell me.