I have always been impressed with how you

wield your shrugs

your careful smiles

how your handshakes are always the right amount

of indifferent

I would have liked to see you

dancing oblivious

window-shades open

I would have liked to see you

drunk

you manifest unknowable

you doorless wall

all hard edges and

unfathomably

blank

eyes

I would have liked to see you unmasked

shaking your fist at god

feet bloodied from kicking mirrors

having finally reached the realization that

sometimes there just

isn’t enough apathy

to go around

—

trying to study. Whenever I’m writing a poem and it seems kind of boring I fix it by making it ridiculously melodramatic and I think maybe that is not the right way to go about things.  also, I will be buying my tickets to Korea at some point this week. kinda nervous. I have never really traveled without my parents and that is sad.