mer

Writer’s Block is the most satisfying beast to kill in the whole world I think.  A lot less species would be endangered if hunters would have only picked up a pen instead of a gun.

Happy Valentine’s Day!  This is the first time I’ve made it this far with anyone and that makes me exceedingly joyous.

Writer’s Block

I am not broken
anymore

rainbows only bleed from
cracked glass, I am none of this

my creative beasts have chewed
their way out of me,
who will cook?

whose claws will mutilate printer paper
into soggy, squalling origami?

who will hold my head down, under the ink
watching the bubbles float up until I finally
thrash-up
gasping
?

my scars are almost gone
and
there is no ink in the larder

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went to bed at 8 PM woke up at 2 AM, now can’t sleep

part of me believes we won’t make it past February.  I’ve never made it to Valentine’s day with anyone, much less the altar.  I don’t trust my judgement.  My brain relies on sleep-deprived emotions rather than rationality.

I am afraid of boredom.  I am afraid of a lack of communication.

I think I like doomed relationships better.  Like a prison sentence that you know will end next weekend so you can get comfortable with the free food and cable.

Beginnings are so pretty.

I’m bad as half of a dual substance.
Raw

you
keep me tethered
twin moons, orbiting

I no longer get drunk off stars only
high on the laws
of gravity

anxiety is an unpleasant and
familiar
color
like jealousy

the dark underbelly of love
bites into my flesh

jeweled handcuffs.

dunno why this song depresses me

I want you all to know that I came very close to not being alone for Valentine’s Day.

So this is the 20th one in a row.

dangit.

If you hear Indians talking, wait for a little while then turn around and say “Kya?”.  It means “what”.  Bam. helpfulness.  We’re talking Indians from India, not Native Americans, you uncultured fool.

Kaisi Paheli he ye zindagani. – what a riddle is this life.