VAGUE TO THE POINT OF COMPLETE GRAY

Sometimes swearing is necessary.  It’s how I convey great anger or importance.  But I’ve always felt that I’m not allowed to swear on this blog, since people who have me on facebook (possibly family members) read it.

I don’t like that. Feels like a trap.  Something holds me back from being sincere.  I care too much about what my family thinks of me.

Okay so maybe I just like to swear, regardless of any “great anger or importance”.  

Also I feel like I can’t talk about certain things that have happened in my past.

Sometimes the things I say become so vague it’s almost pointless to say them at all.

Like now for instance.

It bothers me that I never write poetry anymore.  Been reading some of my old stuff, and I can barely recognize the woman that wrote it.

Gah who the hell am I anymore?

Something from April 2014:

regardless of the length of the chain, strength of
the fence

I had to see if your dog was a biter.

there were warning signs in
my second language:

Teeth Filed, Regrown
Daily

No Snarl Until Hungry

on pain as a teacher:
avoiding scars is
skipping class.

My hands outstretched, ready
for the gold-star bruises

of perfect attendance

I think I’m  in an apathetic state that discourages poetry.  Also the above poem is … meh.  So I wasn’t that good at poetry when I was writing. Maybe it’s for the best.

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stay hungry

a limping heart is not necessarily a
detriment

it is possible to be greedily
broken. to be fascinated instead of
frightened by all the
dead cats that one’s curiosity has bred

for some, pulse-less tabbies take on new names
with each stage of
rigor mortis

ink recipes
folk magic
the benefits of

pain

————–

something random… I don’t know why, but going to church straight up kills my writers block… I always end up writing something there.