I miss this guy.  I still remember the night we were all out dancing in the White Room, he told me I was like a daughter to him.  It probably occurred to me at some point that I’d never see him again after leaving Thailand.  For one month, we were classmates, we were friends.  It was a motorcycle accident.   Love you John.  The world is worse off without you.  Thank you for lending me pens.  Thanks for the laughs, the advice, thanks for being my Dad away from home.

 All the cigarette boxes in Thailand have these nasty pictures of rotting teeth and body parts.  He once told me “Well I can’t stop smoking now can I?  I have to collect them all.”

This weekend I almost died twice.  Spun out on black ice twice, crashed down into a ditch the second time….. I have no rear-view mirror and I am really scared to find out what it will cost me to to replace it.   A beautiful man came and helped us out of the ditch.  I may go all Cinderella and scour Fargo looking for him.  Well. maybe not.

The end of something I wrote:

you are standing there
eyes broadcasting enough
optimism to blind me
I cannot bear your eager
I cannot bear your shy
wide eyed
here is your fortune:
you will fall so hard that
you will not be able to get up
you will give everything
and be left with
greedily snatched at with
grasping hands
chewed up like cotton candy
thrown away like
broken mouse

Daisy Salesman

This city is a study
in the cold steel of architecture,
functionality with little else
the wind whispers a funeral dirge
the flower vender is no longer here
perhaps out of business
perhaps something worse
staring at the weeds growing from the concrete below,
I am fascinated by the thought of falling
thirty stories of an infinite flight,
this is existence set on fire
now sprawled on the sidewalk
the crimson shock a love-gift
to awaken the colorless gray
now, shall we know true living?
in the broken bones,
the screaming nerves,
in these moments just before the end?

this is the second half of something I wrote… not sure if I like the first part yet, so I just didn’t post it

*oO-Rein-Oo on