Sometimes swearing is necessary.  It’s how I convey great anger or importance.  But I’ve always felt that I’m not allowed to swear on this blog, since people who have me on facebook (possibly family members) read it.

I don’t like that. Feels like a trap.  Something holds me back from being sincere.  I care too much about what my family thinks of me.

Okay so maybe I just like to swear, regardless of any “great anger or importance”.  

Also I feel like I can’t talk about certain things that have happened in my past.

Sometimes the things I say become so vague it’s almost pointless to say them at all.

Like now for instance.

It bothers me that I never write poetry anymore.  Been reading some of my old stuff, and I can barely recognize the woman that wrote it.

Gah who the hell am I anymore?

Something from April 2014:

regardless of the length of the chain, strength of
the fence

I had to see if your dog was a biter.

there were warning signs in
my second language:

Teeth Filed, Regrown
Daily

No Snarl Until Hungry

on pain as a teacher:
avoiding scars is
skipping class.

My hands outstretched, ready
for the gold-star bruises

of perfect attendance

—

I think I’m  in an apathetic state that discourages poetry.  Also the above poem is … meh.  So I wasn’t that good at poetry when I was writing. Maybe it’s for the best.