Fear been in a bar fight with love since the universe first cried out for milk and blood.

love is too drunk to stop laughing,
limbs splayed
chin in the dirt

bruises tucked into her






8 hours is a long time to work a night shift.  I’m working my way through the Nag Hammadi (and related works) like, okay this is why I end up the in hospital.  Jealous of Jung that he got his shit together enough to write whole books, while I end up locked up in solitary when I think like that. Not bitter at all. Though.


Click and scroll down to read:  http://gnosis.org/library/7Sermons_hoeller_trans.htm


Also, everything Jaden Smith does is gold, fight me on that.  I’m at work so don’t have time to find the songs that were hitting me hard last night, but here’s one to taste.

When is the last time you let someone touch your face like you were God?


you are the updraft
that’s got me melting my wings
on the sun


Face up, untouched


Worked a night shift at the nursing home last night.  Memory Care.

Was with one old lady trying to get her to lay down (she stays up till 4 AM usually, wandering around which is cool but then they’re tryna get her up by 8 AM which is not so cool).

Anyways we were singing together and looking into her eyes I got hit with this… phrase “the universe experiencing itself” (Alan Watts quote at end of post).  The phrase kept chiming in my brain.


Lost my false duality.  It was like the universe was looking into itself when I looked into her eyes.

Scared me.

These are the kind of thoughts I have when I’m going nuts.  I was thinking “DANG I CANNOT BE GOING CRAZY AGAIN SO FREAKING SOON.”  But when I actually go crazy I’m not usually worried about it… I’m just like… a rocket shot directly into the sun.  Brain screaming in exhilaration.

Getting enough sleep is my only reassurance.



“Through our eyes, the universe is perceiving itself. Through our ears, the universe is listening to its harmonies. We are the witnesses through which the universe becomes conscious of its glory, of its magnificence.”

― Alan Wilson Watts

This is how a human being can change.
There is a worm
addicted to eating grape leaves.
Suddenly, he wakes up,
call it grace, whatever, something
wakes him, and he is no longer a worm.
He is the entire vineyard,
and the orchard too, the fruit, the trunks,
a growing wisdom and joy
that does not need to devour.


utopia builder
dance anarchist
flow with the universe
the universe as my life partner
as my dance partner
my travel buddy
breathe into you
breathe into the universe

refining chaos into love.

hack the obstacle
obstacle as teacher
setbacks as gift

fear as a lover.