cactus bicycle seat.

So whenever I’m on a phone call with my boyfriend and the conversation is kinda stunted we do questions from this article: The 36 Questions That Lead to Love. I definitely recommend this list to people in long distance relationships… one question usually opens up the whole conversation, we generally don’t get through more than one per day.

Anyways. Today’s question was “If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?”

He didn’t have much to say about that.  I have mostly one thing…  I wish there would have been talks about consent.

This blog:  http://samanthapfield.com  sums it up beautifully.

“Sex should not be a “duty.” It shouldn’t be an act we feel obligated to perform for other people. It should never be manipulated or coerced. It’s hard for each woman, individually, to operate inside this system where we’re beaten down into thinking things like I have to have sex with him or he’ll leave me.

But we shouldn’t accept this status quo. As the magnificent and wonderful Nicki Minaj put it: “I demand that I climax. I think women should demand that.” That’s the attitude that should be accepted and normal. Consent is only the absolute minimum baseline, not the goal. It should be so commonplace for women to be comfortable, and happy, and trusting, and respected during sex that anything else would be as incomprehensible to us as building a bicycle seat out of a cactus.”

This is the first I’ve heard of something called “enthusiastic consent”  which means not bare minimum okay-whatever-yeah-do-it consent (or “grudging consent”).

I love Feminism. For now for always.
Don’t have any new music for you today, sorry.

Advertisements

Brussels

Have you ever wondered what’s so good about Brussels during the Holiday season?  I’ve got two words for you:

Christmas

Market.

(Also waffles.)

Okay just to clarify I’m not in Brussels anymore, I’m in Delhi.  Which you should know already.

Anyways, now to experience the magic of Belgium.

 Part of the main plaza

 For some reason the Christmas Market has very strange carousels, with such delightful steeds to ride as this ostrich…. and a giant cockroach.  Very steam-punk macabre.

 MMM 🙂  I can almost smell the gluewein. Or however you spell that.

 So we rode the ferris wheel, and as we’re getting on, I realize it’s the same one I rode during Tomorrowland… Not that huge of a coincidence, since Tomorrowland is quite near Brussels, but it made me happy.

 People from Brussels go to the Christmas Market for two reasons… to drink.. and to see the FUNNY CHRISTMAS ICE MONSTER! HAHAHHAHA.  I”m laughing just looking at it. so funny.

 St. Catherine Church makes a nice backdrop.

Right as we began making our way back through the main plaza, a light show began!  The eery music fit with the overall mood of people from Brussels (seriously I’ve never seen such dour Christmas spirit).  But the best part was when everything lit up red and Kate yelled “WE’RE IN HELL!”

Current plans:  I have a Hindi lesson scheduled for this Monday and Friday.  Also, I booked tickets to Bangalore for mid-January, to meet up with my Desi friend who hosted my friend and I in Liverpool (via couchsurfing.com).   I love getting the chance to meet up with people I met on my previous travels. 

Also Bangalore will be a WELCOME BREAK from Delhi. 

Delhi

Alright babes… As of right now I have no way to retrieve my pictures from my camera which is why I haven’t blogged yet.. I will ATTEMPT to do it tonight, no promises.

People keep asking me how I’m finding India and the answer is I’m bored out of my skull.   Boyfriend’s mom essentially has me on house arrest,  can’t go anywhere unless I go with Divyesh, during the day.  Problem is he often works, which means I’m stuck in the house. 

His mom got wind that I’m thinking of going to stay somewhere else and so she’s all worried and paranoid that I won’t be safe without her to watch out for me.  AUGHHH I’m 22 years old. 

Going to look at a language school today, possibly looking to take some Hindi classes. 

ANYWAYS.  Will try to put up some pictures. Soon.  Getting crabby from staying in the house so much. 

ADVICE:

If you are going to Delhi, do not stay with anyone’s MOTHER.

I really like her, but mehhhhhh I’m dying! She won’t let me go out dancing because it’s “too dangerous”.    I REALLY want to go dance.  I think I’m going to find a hostel near city center so that I can do some things and meet some fellow travelers.  She won’t let me, I’ll have to tell her I’m staying with another friend.

Feel like I’m 12 again. 

oh and I saw P.K.  very good movie.  had to make the boyfriend translate everything for me.

ldr

It’s like… okay:

So when my brother was very young my parents would give him crushed up ice-chips and tell him it was ice-cream, while they had their sundaes or whatever.  I’m actually not sure why. Cheapskateism? Sadism? Health concerns?

“Ice-cream!  Get ice-cream!” He loved that crap.  Didn’t know the difference.  Until one day an uncle or grandmother or someone gave him REAL ice-cream.  And the jig was up.

Now he’s never said he was mad about this.  I guess he just devoured the ice-cream with confusion?  Or unbridled joy?  Obviously he would never be satisfied with crushed up ice again.

Anyways what I’m trying to say is it’s been 21 years of ice-chips before I met you.

I can’t explain to anyone why I’m still with you through all this.  People think you were just my first longterm/serious relationship, and now I’m  trapped in that.  There is something you have that I can’t label.  Something you have that other people just don’t.  Almost no one.

And okay it’s gonna be hard.  Explaining to my entire extended family that you aren’t a Christian, (cue the horrified glances when I’m looking the other way) and that yes, I intend to kick it on the daily, forever, with you.

But I can’t imagine it won’t be worth it.


Italian music

Wine Slow

Bought plane tickets, Minneapolis — Belgium, Belgium— India.

Should I just move out completely and teach somewhere in Asia?

I feel like I’ll just keep postponing it and next thing you know I’ll be married and unable to do anything..

Music for you:

love this song.  Uff teri adaa.  also I’m in love with the hookah bar, but hookah smoke gets me too dizzy, so after a while I just eat smoke rings.  That is probably the only smoke related skill I have.  The ability to consume smoke rings.  I can’t even make them. It’s like someone who can’t cook, just eat (which actually, is pretty much me, too)  anyways. a good song.

Parvati

that night we were driving back to Fargo
not really saying much, until

“what if we just kept going?”

our bikes were already tied on the back,
our luggage in the trunk
(this could be so easy)

we stared at each-other
knowing this as true Kairos,
the opportune moment.

we could stay here, just here
or take the wild road (out)

we chose wrong, we chose easy
we chose safe and sorry

(should have taken an airplane,
turned “we probably shouldn’t”
into
“screw it, let’s go”)

I want I want I want

India for Holi
Rio for Carnival
Thailand for the
full-moon party
in Koh Phangan

I want to dance in Seoul
I want hostels filled with
drifters, the ones who
know eight different languages
the ones for whom life is a grand roaming
the ones so drunk on wanderlust

they can barely find their way home

So I run into my roommate’s room, “Hey, which countries have you been to? ” It’S LIKE SEVEN