Tonight is making a meal of my brain

Exhausted.  Quiet sobbing because it’s four AM here and I don’t want to wake anyone up.  I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know what the best course of action is.

My head hurts.

My lawyer isn’t returning my messages.  I’m starting to doubt her judgement in general.

I guess.. I guess we should apply for the K1 visa again, and just hope it goes through this time.  Another 5-8 months or more of waiting.  Him in the most polluted city in the world.  Maybe I should move to India just to lower my life expectancy to his… or just start chain smoking.

I’m jealous of every single person who gets to live in the same city as the one that they love.  I’m jealous of every single person that gets to live in the same country as the one that they love.  I’m jealous of every single person who dates someone from a country with a high life expectancy.  I’m burning up with hopelessness, reduced to screaming into my pillow.

I don’t know how to do this anymore.

Not having my parents’ support of our relationship hurts.

I miss him all the time.  I’m in India right now and I’m already missing him.  I have to be at the airport in less than 24 hours.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s