reality is only as good as the glass it’s seen through

There was this lady I used to care for who was convinced her daughter-in-law was stealing money from her, and one day she was getting louder and louder, just all-out angry rage-venting.  All these nurses kept telling her, in essence, “don’t be silly”.

Which is an incredibly stupid thing to say to someone.  All she wanted was to complain for a while to someone about her daughter-in-law, be validated, and not feel like she was being treated like a small child.

Thomas Kitwood, patron saint of Nursing Homes (or he should be)… the first guy to put forth that maybe when a patient is looking for their husband and wants to go home, we shouldn’t say, “Your Husband DIED A LONG TIME AGO. You live HERE now.”

Seriously I HATE it when people get like that with old people.  This example is more malicious, but why would you make someone sad or angry when you could do the opposite?


There is some divide between caregiver and resident.  Some vast divide.  There should be a divide, certainly, but not to the extent where the people you take care of become more job than human.

Anyways, I’m thinking about all these things because I’ve been at orientation for my new job.  We’ll see how things are here, more of the same, or maybe the workers will be better educated on this stuff.

Was gratified to see their policy on expression of sexuality between residents is consent-based.  Nice.  Oh and they are super against proselytizing, despite being Lutheran, which is cool.

Oh! One of the speakers said in no uncertain terms YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK FOR THEM JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE SLOW.  THANK YOU (Can I get an amen?).  Gah I swear, at my Fargo job, no matter how efficient and fast you were it made no difference…. they just made you do more work.  Sounds like it might be different here, I’m excited.

I leave you with a quote and a song.  Enjoy, my dear love-blumpies. (made that word up, blum-peas)

“It is conceivable that most of the advances that have been made in recent years might be obliterated, and that the state of affairs in 2010 might be as bad as it was in 1970, except that it would be varnished by eloquent mission statements, and masked by fine buildings and glossy brochures”

-Tom Kitwood Dementia Reconsidered p 133

Oh this song is apparently big in Italy this summer (Okay I know it was, I was just there.)


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