I’m not depressed. I think I’m just… waiting. To be there again, where I know I’m in the right place.
Fargo just isn’t it. Maybe the salsa festival in Croatia. Or maybe I have to wait until India. I wish I could believe in inhabiting the present moment, instead of waiting for the future to bring me a better one.
I want to be completely comfortable and happy. Few places give that to me. Some people do, but they have mostly left Fargo. hm hm hm. Need a change. Leaving to Europe in two-ish weeks. Well first comes New York City which is sort of scary. I believe that most people are decent people. So why would I be scared of getting assaulted or whatever? I’m not really.
I don’t really worry about anything. Unlike my parents (but maybe that just happens when you have children.)
hm. hm hm. Wish I could be a more fun friend and roommate. Getting so boring and home-bodyish.
I need the ocean to go stare at, 4 AM, no fear. I need dancing, barefoot and rained on. I need people who get me.
I should just be happy. My job lets me travel. Even if I have to clean up feces to get the money to do so.