on being single again:

I feel like I’m teetering on the edge of something high-up and beautiful.  Harsh cloud-studded sky-scraper of infinite possibilities.  I might fall or fly.  Safety is gone.  The only person I trusted more than myself was him, and now I’m back to being only one instead of half of both of us.  The sky is about to storm, but that’s the way it always looked best.  Even the rain reminds me I am whole.  Endings like this are graceless, I am messy with tears and apologies.  Truth:  I amputated something to jar myself loose.  Now there is only the open road of a question mark.  What comes next?

he was the most beautiful of beginnings. Bittersweet. Something gnaws at my heart and I try to ignore this thing that doesn’t exist anymore, still wreaking havoc in me. please be bright…. the past is finally better than my present, so I am forced to put all hope in the future.

Begin. Bring me something better.

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